(The virology doctor has no clothes)
Let’s invent and patent a square shaped tire. OK, Done!
Next, let’s all go to a car dealership. Any car dealership will suffice.
Let’s all stick a knife in one tire on one car each.
Let’s then show a salesman the flat tires while promising to each buy a new car.
We will Ignore his pointing to the knives stuck in the tires.
We’ll threaten him with a complaint if he tells his superiors about the stabbed tires.
We can now claim that all the cars in the world are defective.
Next, we can videotape (with selfies) the faulty tire and release it to legacy media, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Google who will release the video globally where it will be shown over and over and over.
Now we are ready to petition government to provide us advertising revenue with which to globally highlight how the marvels of the new square shaped tires reduce the use of carbon- based fuels.
Next, we demand a global mandate that all cars in the world get new square shaped tires and that all round tires be made square. We can have Greta Thunberg’s crowd of environmentalists jump on the positive benefits of cars being use-transitioned. They can mention it at the Oscars. Stage a square tire using actor slapping a round tire hold-over actor. Show the footage ad-nauseum. A celebrity tire-based divorce can be inserted next. Then a boxer?
We can have all the waning celebrities show how they have had their cars converted to square and take a knee before our flag. (We will need a flag design and ‘murch’ to sell it on.)
We must force cognitive dissonance on those that believe the square tires are making the car inoperable. (Pay more actors.)
Keep statistics and commentary for the media to mention all day every day for about two years and have the media reports sponsored by government and profitable square tire makers.
Vilify and censor those who point out that round tires work better while cursing the ancient societies who discovered the wheel. Cancel ancient culture. Use the term, ‘Squariphobe’?
Never to waste an opportunity, we can profit further by funding and promoting an underground round tire demand. (Allow for ‘payoffs’ for cops, judges and politicians.)
Ignore how square tires have crashed the economy, caused global shortages, and have created global famine. Chalk up those who have died in square tire accidents to poor driving habits, DUI or the folly of coincidence.
If introduced in a timely fashion, Virtual Driving Vacations (VDV’s) present a promising revenue source.
We must vilify those who refuse the square tire mandate. Teach ‘Squareism’ in school starting in kindergarten. Have ‘rounder’ protests against square tires run over by police driving huge trucks (with round tires).
We’ll present celebrities and politicians caught driving on round tires as a Control Group. Imprison round tire advocates and degrade independent studies concerning round tires.
If pushback against our square tires seems to be overwhelming, blame it on Russia and distract people-kind away from the tire issue by provoking a virtual war, crashing economies and destroying food supplies. We can’t forget to co-opt the triangular tire lobby.
We must force the Olympic Committee to use a square tire theme much as they did in London in 2012. Link below.
Comrades, in closing, once we’ve cornered government commitments for both of out safe and effective tire and rim markets, we can all retire to ocean-front properties all over the world.
And WTF have medical themes to do with Olympic sporting events?????
Uhm . . . That wouldn’t happen to be a younger Greta Thunberg on that bed, would it ?????
Maurice St. Jean Editor, Parrhesias.com